Being diagnosed with cancer when your baby is only four months old is… well, let’s face it; it’s shit. I had four months of bonding before the distribution took over. Of endless appointments, surgeries, checks and fear.
But now that we have started to try and rebuild our lives again after the storm has passed, I’m trying to make sure I spend time bonding with Isla. A large part of my journey was losing her first four and a half years, and a large part of her journey was losing her mummy for four and a half years; now it is our chance to start really re-bonding as mother and daughter.
Now we can build deeper bond than we currently have because of my absences. We can do all the activities I dreamed of being able to do with Isla one day.
So yesterday we had one of those days, spending time playing and crafting, having a blast. We laughed, and smiled and whispered to one another, cuddled and high-five’d. We made mosaic pictures and cards for Granny and Grandpa. Discovering one another on a new level.
It’s funny, the more time I spend with this wickedly funny little girl the more I realise that she is her mother’s daughter in more than just biology. Isla is a little mother hen, a deeply caring little soul who just adores imaginative play, crafting and being creative. A little person who can be as stubborn as entirely gleeful, and laughs as hard as she cries.
I am loving these chances to get to know my little girl, who has thoroughly grown into her very own little person now. It’s such a privilege and a wonder to get to watch her grow.