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The Eye of the Storm
During the middle of some of the most intense pain flares I’ve had, I seem to have found the eye of the storm. A place where I can stand and breathe where I can dream of being pain free. It takes some finding, and sometimes I question if I’m really in the middle of it or just so overwhelmed by the pain that my body just gives out. I suppose it could be either. When it starts I can feel the buzzing in my feet begin to increase and then it starts to creep up my legs, slowly at first, as if teasing me “ooh, you know what’s coming but…
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Telling it As it is
Now, every time I witness a strong person, I want to know: What darkness did your conquer in your story? Mountains do not rise without earthquakes ~ Katherine Mackenett Tuesday, 19th December 2017 The day that the darkness began. This was the day that I first heard the word cancer. That I saw the look on the doctors face and I first asked if I was going to die. The day I phoned my mum and sobbed down the phone to her “What if I am dying Mum?”. This was the day in my history that will forever be written as the one that the C-bomb exploded on, casualties still…
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A Health Update – My Stent & I.
Since May 2018 I have had a stent in my right ureter. Not to be confused with urethra. (Quick biology lesson: ureters run from kidney to bladder. Phew, it really was quick!) My pelvic tumour was pressing on it, causing my right kidney to become every so slightly enlarged because it was having to work ever so slightly harder than it was to pump urine down to the bladder. (Hence why kidney pain can be a symptom of advanced cervical cancer) These stents are temporary and need changing every 4-6 months. My first one barely made itself known until just before it was due to be whipped out and replaced,…
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Remission
This part of my life is something that is worthy of more than one insta post. It’s massive, beyond all understanding. It was entirely unexpected and triggered a whole host of wild emotions. Elation, total pure joy, disbelief, fear. Remission was unexpected. I remember being told that the cancer was incurable and asking if remission was a possibility. My oncologist told me that it wasn’t, the term remission was usually held for cancers like leukaemia, not cervical. It was then she told me that the cancer was “life shortening” (her exact words) and she progressed to give me 5 years left to live. That moment is one that will be…
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My Hysterectomy Broke Me
This isn’t the kind of post I’m used to writing. Despite trying to be honest about my experience I’ve always tried to find the positive in it too. Even in terms of having cancer itself I’ve been thankful it has given my girls a chance to really know their grandparents, that I have become more fearless in my pursuits and such. But, if I have come to learn anything in life, it is that the right path is oftentimes the harder one to walk and this completely rings true of that. This path, having cancer, is the hardest path I have ever walked and its beginning was particularly traumatic for…
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But It’ll Never Happen to Me
Today is a crazy day for me! My story is in three national papers currently. Little old me, thanks to this blog and my post of my pills that went utterly viral and is still being posted on to this day. I want to thank everyone who shared that post because it led to the lovely Hannah Smith finding me and going through my blog, Hannah heard my story from the beginning and was keen to help me get my story out there, and for that I am so thankful. So, thank you Hannah – if you are reading this – you are really a heroine to me. Thank you…
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I am Ferocious
Last night, a character on a TV show I’ve been loving said they didn’t want to sit in the chemo chair and be weak. I couldn’t help it, this totally caught my attention. Seven cycles in the chemo chair taught me many things, but it also taught me that it takes more than just guts to sit in that chair.
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An Unexpected Update
We got an unexpected call from my oncology team, Friday evening to give us some news that niether of us were expecting. My scan had shown many small blood clots in my pelvis and lungs, and I needed to begin treatment, fast.
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The Final Cycle Update
Here it is, the final update for primary chemotherapy that really began in early July 2018 and finished on the 4th of January 2019. Before it began I knew it would be hard but it turns out nothing prepares you for chemo. We barely began and had to stop for me to have a colostomy. From then on we rolled with the punches. Stent changes and virus’ cost me good weeks and the pain from flares was like nothing I had ever known.
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Stay Cervix Savvy
It’s great to see so many people posting about smear testing and how important it is, but having been diagnosed in between smears, I want to remind you all to stay cervix savvy always.
