Gear

Here I am spun out on gear
Will tomorrow be less full of fear?
Don’t worry it’s all legal,
Free too, for those that are frugal.
Each prescription goes, if you think I’m a drain,
To fight the good fight – the war on pain.
Because the nerves won’t listen anymore,
They have panic attacks no matter the score.
Adhesions don’t know how to heal
Leaving me unsure how to feel
Unable to trust my own two feet on the floor
Did you think I was joking when I said it’s a war?
Like my body is on a spree
Desperately seeking a space to be free
Trying to find a moment of peace for my mind
Overwhelmed by all my senses find
The world is too bright and too loud
I wonder if the disease is proud
While it hides away, inactive, they say
Leaving me little to do, except pray
That I may live to see days into years
Watch my children grow up, despite all my fears
That the beast inside me will awaken
Because I do not stand here unshaken
Two battles won doesn’t constitute the war
They don’t mean it’ll stay on the floor
All I can do is to find ways to cope
To try and remind myself to live in hope
Here I am, all spun out on gear
Trying not to live in perpetual fear