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You are four
It’s hard to believe that you’ve only been with us for four years, Isla. From the moment you were born you completed our little family. We knew we were always meant to have you. Severe reflux aside, you were a happy baby, a patient babe. You never really made a fuss unless you’re reflux was hurting. You were happiest being held and cuddled. We thought you’d be a quiet little thing who loved books. You’ve turned into the brightest, funniest little girl. You are so caring and kind and your smile is like sunshine, which fits since your favourite colour is yellow. But I wish I could say this day…
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The End of a Chapter
On the 24th of March 2021 a specialist anaesthetic doctor was placing a spinal block and an epidural in my back. Slowly the nerves in my legs that had been causing so much pain were switching off, the pain in my hip was dulling. The doctors helped me lay down and then they placed an oxygen mask over my nose and mouth. My eyes closed and with them so did a whole chapter and of my life. When I came around, I woke up with a new scar that will tell the story of the Avascular Necrosis in my left hip, of the year in bed I was forced to…
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The Bionic Woman!
God, it has been a shockingly long time since I have done a full blog post, but Tom and I just finished watching Home Before Dark on AppleTV, that features the story of a nine year old journalist and it made me remember why I started writing my blog in the first place so I decided to get back to it! I have plans to begin a YouTube channel where I will make some short educational videos about different gynaecological cancers as well as share my story and maybe some vlog type videos too. But before I update on how we all are, I want to take a moment to…
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Two Years On
Two years ago today I attended my first colposcopy appointment. I was 29 years old and I had just had my second baby. I was pretty much exuding happiness, tired happiness, but happiness nonetheless. Cancer. It’s a word none of us want to hear, ever. Not for ourselves or for those around us. It’s deceitful, it’s cunning and sly. It hides and it eludes is. It puts those who are diagnosed with it through hell (and that’s putting it mildly). It’s the word I heard by the end of that first appointment. As time goes by I become increasingly aware that I’m able to examine this memory from different angles.…
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A long overdue update
Oh goodness, it’s been such a long time since I did a proper update. Things have been hard in so many ways. Now I’m just trying to think of where to begin to really update you. I guess a while back in July seems a good place to start, when I first heard the term “long term prospects” and was told that palliative care would be starting to had over to the pain clinic. This was amazing news but with the end of my radiotherapy came the beginning of my neuropathy. Neuropathic pain is notoriously hard to manage. There are drugs available to help but they often aren’t the loan…
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Chemo Round One Update
So, after my initial dose of Chemo in July we were sadly forced to take a break while I had surgery for a fistula that had formed between the top of my vagina and my bowel. Yup. Bowel and vagina. I was pooping through two holes for a bit (hey, I may as well tell it like it was). Stool in the vaginal area is a huge infection risk, meaning unless I agreed to a colostomy surgery I could no longer receive chemo. In the words of my consultant oncologist “it would be like giving you sepsis” – fair enough, I thought. “I’ll take the surgery then” I said. She…
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But, I am not Brave
For those who do not know, in December I was told it was “highly likely” I had cervical cancer. In early January this was confirmed, the next day I met with a surgeon who talked through the procedure I required.
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My Partner in Parenthood
He doesn’t get enough credit, truth be told. The man that has been propping me up since my pregnancy with our second baby begun.
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My Dear Little Mouse
Tonight I sit on a fold out bed in a hospital room on a children’s ward watching you sleep. You are here because you don’t seem to like your milk, and as such you don’t eat enough.
