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Bonding Again…
Being diagnosed with cervical cancer when my baby was 4 months old meant we both lost out on years of bonding to my illness. So, now that I have made it to remission, it’s time to start bonding again. Making memories, having fun and laughing together.
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You are four
It’s hard to believe that you’ve only been with us for four years, Isla. From the moment you were born you completed our little family. We knew we were always meant to have you. Severe reflux aside, you were a happy baby, a patient babe. You never really made a fuss unless you’re reflux was hurting. You were happiest being held and cuddled. We thought you’d be a quiet little thing who loved books. You’ve turned into the brightest, funniest little girl. You are so caring and kind and your smile is like sunshine, which fits since your favourite colour is yellow. But I wish I could say this day…
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Two Years On
Two years ago today I attended my first colposcopy appointment. I was 29 years old and I had just had my second baby. I was pretty much exuding happiness, tired happiness, but happiness nonetheless. Cancer. It’s a word none of us want to hear, ever. Not for ourselves or for those around us. It’s deceitful, it’s cunning and sly. It hides and it eludes is. It puts those who are diagnosed with it through hell (and that’s putting it mildly). It’s the word I heard by the end of that first appointment. As time goes by I become increasingly aware that I’m able to examine this memory from different angles.…
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A long overdue update
Oh goodness, it’s been such a long time since I did a proper update. Things have been hard in so many ways. Now I’m just trying to think of where to begin to really update you. I guess a while back in July seems a good place to start, when I first heard the term “long term prospects” and was told that palliative care would be starting to had over to the pain clinic. This was amazing news but with the end of my radiotherapy came the beginning of my neuropathy. Neuropathic pain is notoriously hard to manage. There are drugs available to help but they often aren’t the loan…
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Motherhood & Cervical Cancer
I am pretty sure I never intended this blog to become what it’s going to be, but fuck it. That tends to be my general view these days. If having the big “CC” has taught me anything, it’s that life is too damned short for wasting it wondering if you should or shouldn’t do something. I am doing a lot more things these days than I would have before. But the hardest thing about living with this hideous disease is how hard it has made being a mum.
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But, I am not Brave
For those who do not know, in December I was told it was “highly likely” I had cervical cancer. In early January this was confirmed, the next day I met with a surgeon who talked through the procedure I required.
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My Partner in Parenthood
He doesn’t get enough credit, truth be told. The man that has been propping me up since my pregnancy with our second baby begun.
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My Dear Little Mouse
Tonight I sit on a fold out bed in a hospital room on a children’s ward watching you sleep. You are here because you don’t seem to like your milk, and as such you don’t eat enough.
